Life..what is it?

I am tired of living this life. I honestly in my heart of hearts feel that I was never meant to live this life. It does not mean I want to end my life, but where am I going with my life. I feel like I have nothing or do anything for anyone, so what do I do. Do I keep in the direction I am going and be unhappy or do I follow a new path, whatever that may be.

My whole life I have been unhappy, hell I cant remember a time that I was happy. The only time I felt content and without a care in the world was when I was giving speeches during high school and college. That was the only time that I felt really good and free about myself. I didnt feel bogged down or worried about things. In fact I felt quote unquote normal for once.

I mean really what is normal, I dont even know.

haa